Fine? Why Fine?

Hoff

Go to around the 1:50 mark on this clip and watch one of the all-time great tv moments. 

How is it possible that this really happened?

25

Apparently Christmas trees are the only things not able to slip a CTU perimeter.

(Via Fark.)

H

Kevin Smith is up to Part 5 of his blog-recounting of his friend and co-star Jason Mewes's battle with heroin and other drugs. Start at the beginning.

Since the gossip sites have seen fit to print only the portion of the Jason Mewes story I told at UPenn (that portion being what said sites seem to feel is the only interesting aspect of Mewes’ life), I figured why not put the whole tale of Jason’s battle with drug addiction into print here, where folks can get a better idea of who Jason truly is and maybe why he fell victim to heroin abuse in the first place. I’m thinking it’s gonna be at least a four-parter, and I’m hoping to wrap it up by April 6th, the day Mewes celebrates his “Sober Birthday”, when Jay will mark his third straight year of living completely drug and alcohol free.

Titanic

Billy Zane, genius.

"... I am doing this movie because I am a patriot. I'm against all wars, because wars don't have happy endings."

That reminds of something...

You're an Idiot

Generally speaking I think that people with addiction have made bad choices and on the responsibility scale they bear the brunt of it. Underneath that overall feeling, there are varying levels of sympathy based on individual situations. No doubt, a kid with poor or absent parental guidance may not be as equipped to deal with situations as he would otherwise. The point is, on my sliding scale of You're an Idiot to Never Had a Chance, Scott Stapp is definitely on the You're an Idiot end of things.

While on tour, he'd been drinking heavily and had become addicted to Percocet. He'd also been taking Xanax and large doses of the anti-inflammatory steroid prednisone for throat problems. Once home, he quit all drugs, cold turkey. At which point, he says, "I wanted to end my life."

But he didn't stop drinking. One evening, after polishing off a bottle of Jack Daniel's, he removed two firearms from his collection. "An MP5 SD3 and an MP5 K," he says. "Machine guns. They're what SWAT teams use." Since the Chicago show, he hadn't spoken to anyone from Creed. He'd become convinced that everyone involved with the band wanted him to die, so that he would become a "Kurt Cobain martyr-type" and boost record sales. "I had crazy thoughts going through my head," he says.

Before he pulled the trigger, he looked up and saw a picture of his son, Jagger, the product of a troubled marriage. Jagger, then four, was staying with Stapp's mother at the time. "And in an instant," he says, "I just turned and shot the house up. And I just broke down. I was like, 'I was about to blow my head off. How low can I get?'"

Even this wake-up call turned out to be short-lived. In the ensuing months, Stapp would flee to Maui, where he became addicted to OxyContin. By the middle of 2004, Creed broke up. Stapp cleaned up long enough to get engaged and record his solo debut, The Great Divide. But last fall, when it came time to promote the album, he began to self-destruct all over again.

Dude is so not Kurt Cobain.

Kenickie, No

Looks like Jeff Conaway is the new Gary Busey. You have to watch the video of him freak out on Celebrity Fit Club.

The clip online is only an excerpt and doesn't include him screaming "I WAS IN TAXI, YOU KNOW TAXI?!! ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR TV SHOWS OF ALL-TIME!!! I WAS IN GREASE, ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS MOVIES OF ALL-TIME!!!"

Depending on how you and your co-workers feel about Kenickie's man-jugs, the video may be NSFW.

...While somewhat on the subject of Taxi, I should have linked to this last week but it's one of the best blogposts of the year. (Via The Manolo.)

Just Sayin'

If the HuffPo didn't jump the shark the moment it became a gleam in Arianna's eye, this week could be considered the official moment that it did. As the namesake herself recaps nicely in this post, the whole place has become Mother Sheehan Central. She does a good job linking to the HuffPo contributors' hagiographies of the demanding woman by the side of the road (see Goldstein). It is interesting that she chooses to directly link to seven slobbering "you go girl" posts and leaves out HuffPo contrarian (read "conservative") Greg Gutfield's take on the whole thing.

Why He Hates Us

Here's another reason:

And now, a quick trip to the bottom of the barrel of celebrity sightings: Self-described comedian Pauly Shore and Osama Bin Laden's aspiring pop-star niece, Wafah DuFour, cozied up at Banana Republic's ACRIA benefit in East Hampton over the weekend. ...

How Many Posts Will Be Titiled "Beat It" Today?

Well, there you go.

Somebody tell these idiots it's time to go home now. Or to get jobs or something.

UPDATE

(Via Galley Slaves.) Triumph interviews the maniacs outside the courthouse.

...It's not from today though but still worth the look.

Self-Aware

Russell Crowe just told Chris Matthews that his opinion on the war in Iraq is that he's against the war because "he's anti-violence."

With a straight face.

(Also, when setting up the question Matthews said something to the effect that the U.S. and Britain are "always going to war in the Middle East.")

UPDATE 6/10/05

The transcript is not available yet, but when it is, it should be here.

UPDATE II

Here's the transcript and here's the relevent excerpt.

MATTHEWS:  You guys have a different vision of the world than we do, but I noticed when you—I always wonder what Australians think when they see this so-called special relationship between us and the Brits. 

You know, the first time we went to war in Iraq, Margaret Thatcher is with Bush Sr.  And she says, “Don‘t go wobbly, George.”  All of the sudden, we‘re at war.  Then the president and our president now, the younger Bush, is in league with his partner Tony Blair.  You wonder who is leading who.

When you look at the Americans and the British going to war in the Middle East again and again, literally, what‘s the Australian‘s view?  Are you for or against this?

CROWE:  Well, obviously we are fully entwined with what you‘re doing, because...

MATTHEWS:  Are you for it personally, the war in Iraq?

CROWE:  No, I am not. 

Our hand is up first every time you guys say, this is what we need to do.  But—and I know this is all going to sound extremely ironic, but, you know, I am quite specifically anti-violence.

Obviously, I missed Crowe's acknowledgement toward the "extremely ironic" nature of his position. He sort of mumbles. And I sort of watch TV while tooling around on the internet. But if you read the whole thing, you'll be treated to Matthews' first-rate ass-sucking.